Emptiness and Form

I must be utterly blessed, being able to study and practice under these two great Masters - Sheng Yen Shifu and Chan Gong Shifu.

At almost the same time

And now they both departed at almost the same time

How irony can this be

There would be no 2nd life without both of them to me.
One lifted me from the pains,
One moved me on the path.
I took so much pride in able to be with them,
This pride in essence
I need to let go off.

There is crowded space for both portraits,

I am just saddened and amazed.

將此深心奉塵砂，是則名為報佛恩

The title are the words
Chan Gong Shifu wrote in Australia
As I was told.

Shifu's compassion enveloped me
as I recalled.....
whilst offering Shifu an orange drink,
He returned with such kind compassionate words and praises,
And offered me the most precious
Chanting Beads.
When this unrefined being practiced prostrations in Nian Yun Monastery,
His warm hand held my wrongly located palms
so gently.

Shifu I will always have tears when I recall you,
especially now as I listen to the 6 verse chantings,
which helped pulled through the darkest hours of my life.
With manifestations of cleansing lights.

And yet it was totally less than 1 week or 2,
that I got to be with you in close proximity,
joyfully serving and awaiting to serve you.

Causes and conditions are beyond comprehension
因緣不可思義
I soaked myself in a tradition of Emptiness ,
Yet I was in utter tears when you presented that of the Form, Infinite Lights,
Of 阿彌陀佛,
And I started to be grounded
with the hunble way of the slow prostrations,
the way of morning and evening services,
the way of holding the incenses,
the mantras that accompany daily actions,
and hence rafted me across the messy ocean
of life

Yet I never seemed to be able to stay close
as I 'strayed' between Emptiness and Form

Regretably,
I recalled you said:
Come stay back for 佛七，禪七you could have it anytime
Now I understand,
your meaning, and what you might have in mind.

Shifu you are always the last resort I turn to,
I am so sorry at heart,
that I never had a chance to repay your kindness,
yet I used up all your compassion.

The conditions are different,
and so ironic.

It is like a twisted lane - entertwining both Form and Emptiness,
yet they are the same,
in your most profound and humble teachings.

My vows flowed ever since I learnt to prostrate after you.
And truly, you are the Father of Dharma to me,
The first ever 師父，
One who revived the dead being within.
Without you I would be farther away
from the Path.

And I always
strayed away from your wondrous and strict teachings.

Let me repent as much as
I could
and pray & vow
that you will be reborn in a perfect Lotus,
Returning to the Samsara world again
and that
we could meet again.

A Bodhisattva, A Buddha,
How could I ever,
Repay their kindness
and yours.

阿彌陀佛(the chanting started just as this is finished...nowness... blessings)

懺公師父

Homage to the Triple Gem.

A virtual prostration to 懺公師父. It is Shifu's birthday today, and it is with a weak and repentful mind that I pray for his good health, long live and well being, so he could stay on in this samsara world to benefit more sentient beings.

Without his blessings, and his simple guidance, deep sighted nonsectarian teachings, I would be lost for a longer time.

Here is a short offering of a simple summary discourse by 懺公師父:

Please remember, my fellow students: All phenomena arising in this world - the Abiding Dharma（有為法）, are that with the mind of birth and death （有生滅的心）, are like illusive dreams, bubbles and shadows; The mind with no birth and death （不生不滅的心）is that of a thought that pervades 10,000 years, and 10,000 years with a single thought. （一念萬年，萬年一念）

Our daily practice is to cultivate such mind of no birth and death. Such cultivation will lead to Samadhi （三昧）, meditative absorption（禪定）, one that would liberate us from the cycles of birth and death.

All phenomena arising in this world - Abiding Dharma - are like dreams, illusions, bubbles, shadows; Non Abiding Dharma is that of a thought that pervades 10,000 years, and 10,000 years with a single thought: This is true. This is very important.

Please remember, be aware, my fellow students, that we need to first guide our mind to the state of no birth and death. When we are aware that our mind is preplexed with arising and perishing thoughts （知道心裡生生滅滅）, we practice diligently to guide it to the state of non arising and perishing, no birth and death.

If we could not sustain such state for long, we would observe and contemplate that originally there is no birth. （觀本來是不生）Where birth and arising is like dream, illusion, bubbles and shadows.

It is a good practice to continue such cultivation, with the chanting of the virtuous name of Buddha Amitabha, wholeheartedly, in a most inspiring, sincere and utmost reverance manner.

This is the simultaneous practice of Chan-Pureland （禪淨双修）

Since we could not sustain the state of no births and deaths for long, let's cleanse our mind, let's guide ourselves to that which neither arises nor perishes. When we clear things up, we purify oursleves and quiten our mind. Following this with sincere and revered recitation of Buddha Amitabha, is the simultaneous practice of Chan-Pureland.

Such practice is suitable for us in this period of Dharma-ending generation. We have been discussing for long, yet this is the most important point:

Bring our mind to the state of non-birth-and-death, follow by recitation of the Buddha's name.

Road to Heaven - South Wu Dai Discourse

Clearly, words from an experience cultivator.

Road to Heaven - Empty Cloud

Road to Heaven is an exceptional book - never expected to read it but read as I did, and I found wonders here and there, some exceptional treasures indeed.

First post from the book - Great Master Xu Yun's hut. Feel very shameful that I now live in perfect uncomfort-comfort zone. Zillion miles away from practice.....

Rajgir - 17th July 2008

The most timely, adventurous (indiana jones type), grateful-tears-filled journey. Even more - it's blessed with showers & butterflies, intertwined with telephatic-prayers, 108 great comp mantra chanted over 6.5 hours. And most of all, lots of culture shocks, long run ipod music, & closest ever felt presence at the Buddha's favourite spot.

Very persistence too for I insisted the driver to move ahead many times, when he clearly wanted a fast buck encouraging me to abandon the trip.

Most funny-no-comms too as driver could neither speak nor understand english but he still managed to convey messages to me. And his last smile was so great a grin he is probably thrilled to receive USD notes (he didnt even count its usd1 notes x 5) & uttered lots of hindu words to me with gestures of hands pointing to the sky (well, all in the smelly little car!).

Driver didnt really know the way at the last leg of the journey but the residence hotel ppl were so polite & friendly. There was this Mr Aru who finally spoke in english to me & what comfort to know where the vulture peak is & only 4km away! Then the jaga ppl so polite treating me like... Err... 1st world nation visitor maybe i look like a Jap! Then there was this guy in yellow T shirt that says 'i m not well paid to serve u better' something like that.

How on earth did i know where the peak is but I chose to climb instead of going for the cable car & it was all spot on!

Blessings!

And the little drizzles of water raining on me momentarily was just so blessed! The yellow butterflies, the close range birds, the feeling of peace & heavenly joys totally different from the indians messy wolrd of samsara!!! I cried happily & naturally when the body moved itself up the slope, perplexing & wetted the whole t shirt.

Only 1 male beggar & less than 5 female beggars. Only 1 Theravadan monk, 3 asian visitors (1 with L series canon lens! Shooting the cave) & 1 elderly chinese lady maybe 2 more were there. They all left as i got to the peak.

I was nearly alone at the peak if not for the other 2 guides who are hindus trying to earn a living. Thanks to them I only got to know the site better, but understanding their English can be a real challenge.

Then the sms/telcon responses were all timely.

Touching

Once in a lifetime.....

The journey back was a replay / rewind of the morning trip, but with the fact-distorting ipod on I started to mingle with the dirts, the sweat, the people's expressions, the air without air cond in d car, all but the noise.

Driver wanted to eat. I said no & gave him an apple. Shared all the biscuits with him, gave him a bottle of mineral water, and he loyally, it seemed, made stunt drives which I had somehow ignored or gotten immune with, and miraculously reach the airport in 3.5 hours! Distance was only 120km!

He even ignored me reminding him of low petrol alarm indicator.

A most memorable trip.

What was missed out was 10 great samantabahra vows of the Flower Adornment sutra.

What i missed was the time - only 1 hour & a proper meditation.

But i m still happy even if i have missed the adjacent-hill-top Japanese temple, for I have, finally, been to the vulture peak.

Great blessings. My respects & heartful tks to the protectors, the people, to India, & those who love me & those I love.

It is indeed a true rough entertaining uplifting courages trip of (24+9=)33 hours.

And at the airport the moon was fullmoon. I wonder if it is the 1st or 15th if so it is such a great coincident. (Yes it turned out it was!)

The basic vows remain that i will forever wish to sustain the dharma etc.

The joke was this - "no toilet but we have open toilets", as I asked the young souveneer trader where I could go for toilet.

And I made a vow I will not do it openly next to Rajgir, which I did.

May I receive the kindness & blessings in full, may all beings receive them too.

Lagi more Lang-Photos

This is the little boy who exhibits exceptional wisdom from time to time, intertwined with frustrations and tears, and is always sayang by me and his mum. Code-named after what the Buddha taught ultimately and fundamentally - Anatta, he is the root of many people's joy.

May he continue to grow in the perfect path.

Anatta is greatly admired by Carina too. In many ways, both have great karmic ties, and perhaps Carina was his 'protector'....

Lang-Photos

Our lovely naughty daughter, code-named Carina. She smells better with Vegetarian diet....

Nian Fo Tang

Earth Store Bodhisattva

Lian Yin Retreat

All were smooth but it must be the impurities of oneself that made me missed meeting the Master. If I were to come next week, perhaps I could meet him. But then, how could I ever see him with so much hindrances within?

The feeling is natural, yet majestic, since there were only 7 of us, occupying, to me, one of the holiest sites of my spiritual 'birth' spot. It's strange, that I feel very comfy with those unheard chantings, especially the last one with Wisdom-Source fashi.

I forgot to end my leaving there with thanks to the protectors, which i have to do later.

This trip, is so unlike my last trip >10years ago. It is with better wordly karma, but not much in spiritual ones, though I believe the direction's correct, but this very boat needs more rowing, and pushing.

And getting the cassette i long for, is such an unexpected event.

Let's see if I could upload all those pictures tomorrow.

And my little daugther, with her brother's well being, is so SWEET with little sufferings of missings of me in the dream.

It's already an enlightening trip, but once down to uptown, the spritual part becomes downtown. This coincides with the teachings.

Now the time is right.

May all those close to me, parents, family, wife, children etc, will benefit from the teachings.

Contemplation

first blog... just before the most significant pilgrimage of one's life. regretfully, no ground work is done properly. The sufferings of indulgence and ignorance overwhelm ones observation power.

So much to repent, and unlearn.